Glossary of Terms

 
  • A.C. -- Alternating Current. Hence, a pulsating     raisin.
  • ABSOLUTE CAPACITANCE --"I just couldn't eat another bite."
  • AD INFINITUM -- A cost-of-living increase.
  • ALTERNATING CURRENT -- Changing horses in mid-stream.
  • AMPLIFICATION FACTOR -- Falsies.
  • AMPLIFIER -- An atomic explosion.
  • ANGLE OF LAG -- Also referred to as "the       angle of dangle."
  • ASYMMETRIC -- Having a long posterior.
  • AUTOTRANSFORMER -- Indispensable        member of a "hot car" ring.
  • BALANCED MODULATOR -- An NLRB       representative.
  • BATTERY -- Where the bats are kept.
  • BATTERY OPERATION -- Two or more         surgeons.
  • BIAS -- A last resort. See also "Frequency           Modulation."
  • BIPOLAR -- A freak.
  • BRASS -- Direct opposite of the "hot seat."
  • CHEMICAL CELL -- A portable "biffy."
  • CIRCUITAL RELATIONS -- A clandestine      affair.
  • CIRCULAR MIL -- A group of people getting   nowhere fast: management
  • COERCIVE FORCE -- Influence with the boss.
  • COLLIMATE -- A dog's wife.
  • CONNECTING ROD -- See "Probe."
  • CONTACT RESISTANCE -- Frigidity.
  • CONTACT SPARKING -- Necking.
  • COUPLING -- A complete breakdown of           contact resistance, which see.
  • CRYSTAL -- A slice of quartz.
  • CRYSTAL CONTAINER -- A quart of slices.
  • CRYSTAL MOSIAC -- Youngest daughter of    Abdul and Fatima Mosiac.
  • CURRENT -- A deprecatory expression often     applied to landlords.
  • D'ARSONVAL METER -- An instrument used  to detect pyromanics.
  • DECIBEL -- A shameless, immoral woman.
  • DELTA CONNECTION -- A three-way           telephone conversation.
  • DEMODULATION -- To have lost one's           modesty.
  • DEVIATION FACTOR -- A measure of sexual  abnormality.
  • DIAGRAM -- Matricide, once removed.
  • DICKE'S LAW -- See "Angle of Lag."
  • DIGITAL COMPUTOR -- One who counts on his fingers. Hence, a "dip."
  • DIPOLE -- Gentian Violet.
  • DIRECT READING -- Book burning.
  • DISCHARGE -- See "Dicke's Law."
  • DISTRIBUTION OF MMF -- The purfeying of pornographic literature.
  • DUAL CHANNEL -- A body of water reserved for canoe tilting contests.
  • EDISWAN CONNECTOR -- A phallacious      type of connector.
  • ELECTRIC CURRENTS -- Juicy Fruits.
  • ELECTRICAN -- A member of the electoral      college.
  • ELECTROCUTE -- An attractive member of the electoral college.
  • ELECTROLYTIC DEPOSITION -- A dirty     story.
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  • END SUPPRESSION -- Birth Control.
  • EXCITATION POTENTIAL -- An aphrodisiac.
  • FARAD -- A high official in the Egyptian Government.
  • FARADAY -- A national holiday in Egypt.
  • FILTER -- A love charm or potion.
  • FLEXIBLE CABLE -- An ambiguous telegram.
  • FLUSH RECEPTACLE -- What you should please        do before leaving.
  • FLUSH TYPE CONNECTOR -- Indoor plumbing.
  • FORCED ALTERATION -- Standard practice in a        harem.
  • FREQUENCY -- A cheap jam session.
  • GAUSSMETER -- A duck hunter.
  • GRAVITY CELL -- A small cubicle where Budda            contemplated his navel.
  • HEADPHONE -- Intercom in the restroom.
  • HETRODYNE RECEPTION -- A party after a            wedding.
  • HOMODYNE RECEPTION -- A party after a stag        wedding
  • INDUCTION -- A formality preceding involuntary            military service.
  • INDUCTION RECEPTION -- An informality              preceeding induction.
  • INTERPOLATION -- See "Coupling."
  • KENNELLY-HEAVYSIDE LAYER -- Mr.                Kennelley-Heavyside.
  • LEAKAGE -- Infancy.
  • LECHER WIRES -- Lewd telegrams.
  • LIGHTENING ROD -- A male rabbit.
  • MASS SPECTROMETER -- Audience at a spitting       contest.
  • MASTER OSCILLATOR -- One who is adept at           kissing.
  • MICROFARAD -- A low official in the Egyptian            Government.
  • MICRO OHM -- A dog house.
  • MUTUAL INDUCTANCE -- A handy method.
  • NETWORK OF CONDUCTORS -- Sauter-Finnegan.
  • PETTICOAT INSULATOR -- A chastity belt.
  • PHOTOVOLTIAC -- A picture of Voltaire.
  • PIEZO-ELECTRIC EFFECT -- A real nasty practical     joke.
  • PLATE CIRCUIT -- A home run.
  • POLYPHASE -- Two-faced.
  • POTENTIAL TRANSFORMER -- A student magician.
  • RAMBERG -- What happened to the Titanic.
  • RECTIFIER -- Mexican heartburn.
  • RELAY -- Repetition of a delightful experience.
  • RESISTANCE -- An insect repellant.
  • RESIDUAL -- A two-family house.
  • SELF INDUCTANCE -- Marooned on a desert island.
  • SERIES CONNECTION -- A circus.
  • SHUNT ANALYSIS -- A physical examination.
  • SKIN EFFECT -- Reaction produced by a strip teaser.
  • SPLIT PHASE -- A harelip.
  • TEASER WINDING -- A stag party.
  • THERMOCOUPLE -- Newlyweds.
  • THERMOPILE -- An advanced case of rectifier.
  • TUNER -- A double nooner.
  • VOLTAGE -- The age at which one is allowed to vote.
  • VOLTAGE AMPLIFIER -- One who falsifies his age.
  • WAGNER GROUND -- An opera house.
  • WATTHOUR METER -- A timepiece with no numerals  on the dial.
  • WAVE METER -- A sailor on shore leave.
  • WESTERN UNION SPLICE -- A marriage by proxy.
  • ZERO BALANCE -- Inebriated.
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